Dear Jun,

thanks for granting my request that asked you to write about the problem that bothers your mind lately. As what you wished, I've edited and posted your two last entries. After reading them, I can say that your university's life seems so colorful. You do have a great life. I hope you can really savor every moment you have. Responding to your last entry, I want to state my thoughts.

You are having a crush on this senior, I think. The way you shared about things between you two, like joking, sharing, or he being so good to you.... I can feel like there's a love. It can be biased tough. You should promise to say to me when you are ready to confess that you're having a special feeling about him, kay? Now, about things between you and J. All I can say is this : To get one good thing, there's always another great thing you should sacrifice. I can't really help you since I have never walked in your shoes. But I know you're that kind of girl you always prioritize others' feeling than your own. You're not the egoistic girl. In case you are still not sure about the actual story between J and Wu, I guess you are not to either move forward or backward. You should stay neutral. Reason is, Wu has helped you a lot and you feel so comfortable whenever you shared thoughts with him. It's not fair for Wu that you suddenly make distances between you two. Another reason is that if it feels like there's tension between you and J, you should try to break the ice. If not, people will think negatively whether you guys are having like competition to have a guy. So, I can suggest you to act just normally.

Stay the same. Be you. Be the Imelda people loves.

With loves,

a friend of you.

do I have a choice?

Hello.. This post is a special request from Ms. Wu.. I will post something that have mingled in my mind lately.
Em.. Do you believe this quote? "You won't love campus life if you've ever felt the niceness of school life. You'll never get the fun like you have in school."
I do believe, know why?
However, not every 'why' can be answered clearly. I can just say the fact that in school,everyone seems to say the real things and you can easily differ a friend or a lover. Contrarily, in campus life everything is like bogus! It makes you confuse about whom or when to trust.

Check my case now.

Like what I told in my last entry, I do have a good senior (wu) to share with, he's been so good to me.
We text each other frequently and that makes me feel that we have a close friend relationship.
You guys now think that I am happy in this situation,right?
Fact is no, I wanna emphasize that I am actually not in my comfort zone. The problem is that one of my friend (let's call her K) love him so much and she always tells me whatever conversations she had with him. She looks extremely happy. While for wu, he's like so easy going with that.
I don't understand what he's exactly thinking about. At this time, I can accept the fact that junior-senior love story is just a usual case.
But again, things went even more complicated when I was sitting with some of my friends to chat about days and made jokes like who is having crush with who and who'll soon be in a relationship. The surprising thing is that suddenly one of my friends said like "She,J is going to be in a relationship soon with a senior." Afterward I found out the senior is Wu. Maybe it's just a joke to bother J. Nonetheless, few days afterwards, I read the same conversation at BBM's status between J and friends. I don't know whether I should believe it. When I ask wu, he answered: "Don't take it seriously, it's just a joke that her friends make and besides, she still can't forget her EX." Then I tried to forget it, but can I really act like it's nothing?
hmm.. or you think that I am jealous?
nope, maybe not yet? hahahaha.. who knows?
that why if it is all real, what should I do? since, we've been very good friends and we have shared uncountable jokes. He often jokes like "Oh, I am interested in you." or sth like that.
at first yah it's okay, but it is getting quite often now. and I afraid someday I will take it seriously. -_-"
I cant imagine what will happen that time. and I think he never take it serious though some of my near friends who know it said he does really have crush on me.
he ever said that I am being prioritized than others because he can freely talk anything at anytime with random topics, like hobbies,lecturers and foods. he said so when I complained the things happening between I,my friend,and J became more complicated and I have to set stay farther. Because I meet my friend and J everyday and it feels like I'm the third person between them.
Now, because all of these, our conversation is getting tenser than we used to have before. I can really feel this uneasiness in our friendship.
So,what is your conclusion? Should I move forward (act like nothing happens)? or move backward (make distances)?

Changes in short moments.

Halo!
It's been a long time since the last time I made a post in my blog. Miss it!
I have a super great life so far,although my life today is extremely different with my life months ago.
Few months ago, I had to go to school, went into a nice class consisting of 19 classmates,canteen with various kind of foods, bunches of assignments to do and most importantly,a best friend who always stand by my side anytime and anywhere. Honestly, I miss all those things so much. Everything seems to change in a blink of an eye. But, I realize I can't stop and stay in the past. I have to move forward.
I have to get used to wake up earlier than before. I have different schedules every week. I have new friends to share with, lots of skills to be learned,and knowledge to be loaded inside my tiny brain and many more.. All of these changes grow beyond my imagination about the life I will have after school.
Changes are parts of maturing our mind,right?
Okay, I will make 20 details about my life I currently:

1. I woke up at 5.45AM and prepare for lectures at 7AM, for that reason,I can never get enough sleep. And I will make myself busy all day including Sunday. I can't really enjoy weekends nowadays.
   
2. I wear a formal suit and shoes which looks so bad on me, I look much fatter than I used to
3. I go to campus mostly everyday with my beloved brother
4. I go to a great campus, with a huge class, messy laboratory with human corpses and chemical things. I can meet Malaysian friends and various races people.
5. I can be a nerd when reading medical science thingies that amuse me by their great collaborations to make us live
6. I act confidently when I do my exam, but then I can feel doubtful about what I've done, and seriously, I am quite afraid in failing my exam which will cause me to redo the same exam in the next term.
7. I have tutorial system, it's kind of debating and discussing material we are learning. And I love it, I think
8. Unluckily, I have to meet my ex mostly everyday. ZEETTT..
9. it's lucky to have lecturer who come on time, who can speak clearly, and who won't make you fall asleep.
10. I have 2 best friends in campus let's call them JA and VV
11. I have a friend who can kindly help me in everything, let's call him RWS
12. I have senior that is quite nice to me and seems to share everything, he is like my real brother
13. And accidentally, he have the same family name with my best friend I miss, let's call him Wu too. :p
    
14. I know lot's of senior who can help to deal with any material problems
15. I am so talkative and babbles everything that come to my mind.
16. I have experienced that love is a kind of ruler that lead you to disbelieve it in the end, it is so easy to be created, to be played and to finally break it.
17. I have to have afternoon nap
18. I am not sleeping in my own room at night
19. I eat lots everyday
20. And the last, I get pounds of weight. :'(

That's all the things I can describe now. I will tell you more next time and share some pics. my life doesnt stop here,there are a lots of fun things!
cheers! gotcha! ;)

This is the taste of Life!

okay,this is a short post of my blog for this week. I have to summarize these few day happenings, because tomorrow I will have a week trip to singapore. Wish to meet my friends there.Before I leave for my trip, I have finished 50% of my university registration and whatever things i should settle with.

lately,I realized that it's not easy to enter a university, difficult to study there, and more difficult to graduate from the university.

Last few days I went to a club of my university. It's one of the most important club i should follow to support my study there. Most of the club's members are Buddhist, but all of them come from different faculties. But one thing I can ensure is that all of them are Chinese. That's why it's called Chinese community. They can help you to settle the so-called 'cultural shock' and to adapt with the university life. If you go to government university, you'll find out that most of the students are Indonesian and you'll hardly find Chinese as it's just a minority there.. In the club, I got my first task, I have to make list of all the members in that club followed by their telephone,facebook account, twitter account, sign, etc. I think there are hundreds of senior and friends i have to find. oh noo.. i have to finished that asap. hope that I can settle it down before 24th July.

My senior are divided into some groups, depending on the year they entered the university. The longer they study in university, the more respects the got from their juniors. In my faculty,the most important thing you should learn is to make yourself as friendly and as nice as possible. There are various kinds of people there. From the crazy ones, wicked ones,and ones who love to tease you. Because my brother has been in the faculty for some years, I can recognize some of my seniors and make friends with them. Some of them gave me good impressions - Stef (2008), she is so kind to me ; Prawira, a nice guy who loves to joke so much ; Dickson, a friendly guy. Everyone knows him, but he loves to tease people or even make joke on someone,I think he is one of my "good" friend's cousin. Most of them are my direct seniors who have the responsibilities in welcoming us, freshmen. So we have to be good to them if we want to feel safe to study there.

Before I start my study, I have to follow a welcoming program from my senior (it's an orientation usually). This orientation is a three-day-activity. Within 3 days, I have to go to uni early in the morning and I have to wear whatever my seniors asked us to. It's quite terrible. My brother and sister told me that i probably have to eat smelly things, to roll around on the floor, to climb tree, to sing, to catch frog and I will be scolded even if I don't do any mistakes. But luckily, they may not do physical harm to me. they have to keep my life safe. the only thing they can do is to torture freshmen mentally.

Okay, my orientation will be held in the late august. oh noooo.. hope i can pass it!

Friendship never ends

One of my bests is going to move next month. She will continue her academic in the other part of the country. We'll be apart soon. So, later, we are going to spend our time merrily. We have had memories that will never be forgotten and will always stay in our heart. These memories started when we started to swim and jog together. When we both were in the pool, some people said that we are twins. We look exactly alike in the pool.ha-ha-ha. Especially when we swimmed across the pool together.
Eiiitss, not only both of us, but three of us, me, vanie(my best),and david(her boy), had lots of fun together everyday. We used to have breakfast in McD every time we finished our routines : swimming and jogging. Ha-ha. We went to market the other day, cause I had to buy some vegetables for lunch at home. In the afternoon,we used to always wandering around Thamrin Plaza. Often, we go home by foot. One day,when we're half way home,we passed through MBox. We decided to go in and to karaoke for an hour. Yeah,we had lots of fun. Three of us sing out loud and every single songs is filled with feelings. We knew that someday we gonna miss that time. The song touched me most was "at the beginning" by Richard Marx.

Here are the lyrics :

(Donna Lewis)

We were strangers starting out on a journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing

At the beginning with you

(Richard Marx)

No one told me I was going to find you

Unexpected what you did to my heart

When I lost hope you were there to remind me

This is the start

(Chorus)

And Life is a road and I wanna keep going

Love is a river I wanna keep flowing

Life is a road now and forever wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning

I'll be there when the storm is through

In the end I wanna be standing

At the beginning with you

(Both)

We were strangers on a crazy adventure

Never dreaming how our dreams would come true

Now here we stand unafraid of the future

At the beginning with you

(Chorus)

And Life is a road and I wanna keep going

Love is a river I wanna keep flowing

Life is a road now and forever wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning

I'll be there when the storm is through

In the end

I wanna be standing

At the beginning with you

(Bridge)

Knew there was somebody somewhere

Like a light in the dark

Now I know that dreams will live on

I've been waiting so long

Nothing's gonna tear us apart

And Life is a road and I wanna keep going

Love is a river I wanna keep flowing

Life is a road now and forever wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning

I'll be there when the storm is through

In the end I wanna be standing

At the beginning with you

Life is a road and I wanna keep going

Love is a river I wanna keep flowing

Starting out on a journey

Life is a road and I wanna keep going

Love is a river I wanna keep flowing

In the end I wanna be standing

At the beginning with you

Every songs has its own meaning. That's why i love to listen to songs so much. Especially piano. My mind flows swiftly as my fingers dance at the tuts. at least it can change my emotion and mood. maybe it's the reason why people use music in some therapies.
Here are some pict we have together, three of us ;

Me and Stev wu in the PromNite

david ho, stevwu, and me in M-box karaoke

me and Stevwu at the poolside

David ho , Stevanie wu , and me :)
in felix 17th birthday party at Koki Sunda

Stevwu and Me

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the beginning of happily ever after

Today i feel so great. Because yesterday I've known that I am being admitted in a government university, University of North Sumatra,in medical faculty. Being admitted in USU means that all of my plans to study Chinese medicine and accept the scholarship in Shanghai is cancelled. Maybe I will go there to have short course after I finish my undergraduate program. My next target will be “majoring Chinese medicine and acupuncture in China.” I love to help people, I want to cure people from sickness and release them from sufferings. It's good to see people around me are faraway from ailments and see their smile. A simple smile could change your day, couldn't it? I think it is enough to make me and my family proud. Many of them failed in this time elimination exam. All of my classmates are success in their exam. I am one of the lucky ones. Thanks God. ;)

Beside saying thank you to all my friends and relatives for the support. I want to shout out loud “i won’t regret” because I will never stop to stay strong and put smiles on my face. Now,I wholeheartedly believe one of Ajahn Brahm's sayings : “The longer I hold something,the heavier it feels.1 minute,i feel tired. 2 minutes,i feel pain.3 minutes,I am suffering and become a stupid man.The solution is,just put it down.” By that saying, I've learned to take everything as easy as I can and be strong. Also from another saying : “Happiness is having fun, just enjoy who I am and who you are.” ; I learn to have fun and be happy. Maybe you should try to follow what he said too, you will be happier after that.

And one more thing to add my happiness.My dad is gonna buy me a car. Yey! Finally i can go anywhere by my own. And the point is i no need to walk everywhere under hot and cold weather.hahahaha.

Been talking about the good things, I have bad things to share, too. I will go to a different university with my best friend. Her university is located faraway from mine,even different province and island. So sad to be apart :( I can’t meet her everyday anymore. We can’t go swimming and jogging anymore. No more eating gargantuan meals together. Aaaaaaaaa. Not only those,i can’t meet lots of my friends, either. They are going separately to pursue their own dreams. Some to Singapore, some to Hongkong, one to Canada and Australia. Gonna miss them all so damn much. But we’ll be gathered someday as great doctors, engineers, architects,psychologists, and other successful jobs for sure. Hope for the best. It’s not the end of everything. It is the beginning of happily ever after!!!!

Life in my eyes.

Okay, today i want to start my blog from “Swimming”. Errm, although it is quite random, but i guess it is a fresh topic to talk about. At first, I think it is easy to swim across a big pool. But actually, it is hard if you are not ready. When you are in the pool, you have to loose all of your body and mind. You can’t even move if your body isn’t compromised well. To make a good and swift movement, you have to concentrate to a point and make it into a gentle movement. You may not waste your energy for any useless gesture, because it will ruin your movement. At that time,you can’t even breath. Things you have to do are, slow down, calm down, do not hear, and do not think, move as gently as a flying fur. You don’t need to care who is monitoring you and what condition you are in. Talking so much about swimming,do you know what is my point? Actually, i think that swimming is the same as living this life. Life is easy when i’m happy. But,it will be tough when i’m in a trouble. Lately, I realize,as long as you are in this world, you have to live,live spectacularly! It’s like swimming in the pool, I have to loose all of my body and mind and then concentrate to things i want to do and what i want to be. I shouldn’t let anything disturb my serenity. I have to slow down and calm down. I don’t want to hear and think anything. if there is anyone who did bad things to you, just thank him/her that he/she has made you realize that there are still a lot of amazing things you can do in this world. So, i want to thank somebody that has made me realize, see, and know new things. Without that somebody i couldn’t enjoy my life and couldn’t be strong like I am now, i couldn’t recognize great friends, and i couldn’t know the real man behind the mask. That’s why i would never forget that somebody for my whole life. Beside all of those, I also want to share about my day with SEALNet. We have finally finished our workshop successfully. YEAY! I believed that we can do anything that we want to do whole-heartedly. And now, it is proved that every efforts that we have made, has turned into a good ending. But I feel so sad that eveything will end in no time. Everyone is leaving me soon. Can we meet and gather again someday?? I believe we will. Hope SEALNet Medan chapter will last long. Within this episode of SEALNet, I got some new experiences and lessons. One of them is that: between a good and a bad thing, there’ll just be a little distinction. Also, there are always things that will happen out of the blue. I’ll share some story about SEALNet outreaches. We went to an orphanage. It was Panti Asuhan Pelita Kasih and located in jalan pantai timur, about medan-binjai km 8.5. We got to know that orphanage from local BAPEDA,it stands for Badan Pembangunan Daerah, which is an organisation formed by the government to plan the development for the city. When we observed the place, we were so paralyzed. And a big question popped out “Is this a home????”. Its condition is so bad there. While not far away, we could see a lot of big houses. It isn’t something that you could imagine. The orphanage is a house made of woods. There are some holes in the wall. If it rains, the water will leak into the house. There are 3 rooms – Males’, Females’ and Bapak Panti’s (it is a nickname for the one who is taking responsible of the orphanage). They don’t have any clean water to use. They have to use the well at the back of the house. When they want to take a bath, they have to wait for the water to be purified in the water purifier. The water purifier is made of a big container that contains sands and stones in it to eliminate the dirt from the water. And for drinking water,they have to go to the city to buy some. Do you know what do they use to cook? They don’t use stove. They use woods and stones to make fire. And the food is only rice and 2 pieces of salted fish.When we asked the children about how many time do they usually brush their teeth, they answered us: “We have no more” (maybe they meant that they have no more toothpastes and toothbrushes). So pitiful, aren’t they? When we were about to go home in outreach 1, we, some of the mentors were having their chit chat with bapak panti. Bapak panti told us a little about his life. Then we asked “do the government take care of the children or help the children?” bapak panti replied with smile “ya. Ya. Last month. But for this month, we haven’t got any help from government.” Then we asked again “how much money does the government usually give?” he stopped to think for a while and answered “it is about 1.250 rupiah a day for a child.” We were surprised by the sum, it is not even enough for a pack of standard nasi campur. He continued “yah. Maybe it is not enough but there are some kind people who give us money,rice,and supplies for the kids. Maybe we can only depend on that. ”

Talking about the children, i think they are pity. Although they are lack of education and affections, they have big dreams. When i saw the list of their biodata, I discovered that some of the children are siblings. How can their parents send and leave them there? They are so inhuman. Even an animal like a lion has never left their cubs. The children there cannot be called as orphans because they still have their parents and they know their parents. They think the orphanages as a place like dormitory. I think it is better for the parent not to give birth to them if at the end, they’ll just leave them. I dont know what the hell their parents is thinking. It’s so funny. Some of the teenagers shared their story about the life before they came to the orphanage. Some of them were tortured by their grandparents. Although i was not the one who took responsible of teenagers, i could still feel the grief when my friends told us the story. I felt like crying. Now, I feel that i’m so lucky to be borned in such a good family. I have parents who love me so much and a good education to study. I can buy things that i want. i have a nice home, a comfortable bed to sleep on,clean water to drink and healthy foods to eat. Thanks God !!!!